AD & BD Bhai, Bhai!

SKT Nasar

22 June 2014

I waited at Howrah railway station for the entire morning to receive AD, my long-awaited friend-in-dream. By the way, AD is not a She; it is a He. Or, may be AD is concurrently both a She and a He. AD could be a pseudonym. AD could also be an ephemeral utopia, not a person. I really do not know.  In fact I and AD are virtual friends having met over the internet Social Media, and the Godi TV Channels. I waited for AD like an infatuated lover. But, that is beside the point. 

The worrying part of the episode is that AD did not arrive. I am a member of Technology De-Addiction Campaign. So, I did not use my cell phone to ascertain the reason for AD’s non-arrival at the appointed time. 

I moved to Shalimar station and from there to Santragachi rail terminus hoping that AD might be travelling by a long distance train that terminates there. AD was not to be found there too. Where the hell AD got stuck up, I wondered in disgust.

I then took a heavily crowded AC bus to Sealdah station. I paraded across the ten platforms; but AD was nowhere to be seen. I calculated, since Kolkata has five rail heads, AD must be waiting at the fifth station; after all AD is visiting me for the first time ever.

I dashed for Kolkata station at the Chitpur locality as my last attempt in my ascending frustration. I waited till late in the evening. Dammit, where the hell was AD? By this time I was too tired having traversed around Kolkata Megacity spanning both sides of Hooghly River.

Home at last after a 15-hour search for AD!

You know how terrible a bus ride in Kolkata is! You have to dribble through the crowd like World Cup footballers. These greats do not worry about pick pockets while playing their games; but, a bus commuter in Kolkata, has to take care of his pockets while dribbling past the crowd. He has to be one notch above the soccer legends in agility, alertness and stamina. The commuter has to be more flexible than IPL cricket cheer leaders for he must keep moving the torso nonstop while hand-holding the overhead rod like a monkey.

I said to myself ‘Damn AD; I must sleep now.’ I gave up the idea of receiving AD on waking up in the morning.

My cell phone groaned sharp at 10 am, the caller introducing himself as GP. I told him that I did now know Mr. GP. The caller laughed in a manner as to tell me I was an idiot not to have known GP. He continued.

“GP is not someone’s name; it means Great Patriot among nation servers. I am charged with the responsibility to inform that AD could not book a railway ticket because of 14.2% increase in passenger fares. AD has poor purchasing capacity. AD is also grappling with rising food prices to escalate further with the 6.5% rise of rail freight charges.”

GP spoke again after a pause, “Unfortunately, AD is afflicted with a deadly BD disease aka Burre Din or Bad Day. BD is caused by antibiotic resistant superbug named BacillusUPA strain 70Y, presently in suspended animation. Do not agitate about AD for it shall be deemed as an antinational act. Do not recall the 2012 letter of NaMo chiding MaMo for raising rail fare and freight costs ahead of Parliament session.” GP paused again.

GP: “Bandhu, it was then. Let us only think about tomorrow. Only together we can, and we shall act decisively; you must have blind faith on what we say and what we do even if these are opposites. Wait for AD; Achche Din shall come someday but not as was promised in the last pre-poll circus. Just sit back and wait for our future promises. Be prepared for more promises from time to time, again and again exclusively in the national interest. AD & BD Bhai, Bhai, this means that AD and BD are brothers; our success in pitching the brothers against each other shall finally banish BD from our motherland. Achche Din will arrive, Bandhu!”

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